According to today's Washington Post, this week, Maryland General Assembly Delegate LeRoy E. Myers, Jr. introduced a bill to ban oversized plastic testicles on cars.
If you don't want to read any further, I will understand.
If you've been fortunate enough to have avoided these on the road (I, alas, have not), they're big plastic or metal testicles (I guess they're actually scrota), available in a variety of colors, that people can attach (all dangly-like) from the trailer hitch or bumper of their car (or more likely, truck).
The company that came up with this is YourNutz.com [good taste surrenders when you click the link].
You should also check out the Frequently Asked Questions of BumperNuts.com, another plastic and metal testicle provider; it features questions like:
Q. Do they come with hair?
A. No. We do not have any nuts customized with hair. Ewe!!!!
Because, you know, that would be silly.
Anyway, on behalf of a constituent, Delegate Myers submitted House Bill 1163, the summary of which reads:
"Prohibiting a person from displaying on a motor vehicle a specified item that depicts or resembles anatomically correct, less than completely and opaquely covered, human or animal genitals, human buttocks, or human female breasts; and applying a specified penalty to the offense."Now, the bill only covers fake parts, so hunters with transporting deer would be exempted.
However, the glaring loophole would be to use an even grosser alternative: Having real animal gonads attached to your car.
Personally, I think plastic truck testicles are incredibly vulgar, stupid and tasteless (though also somewhat funny, in theory), but crafting legislation to outlaw them is just so much more stupid.
It's pretty obvious the bill won't pass (the question is how it will die); presumably, when it happens, there will be a lot of castration jokes (because, you know, those are hilarious).
I'm going to stop talking about this now.
Thanks -- Joe
5 comments:
Bollocks, Joe
It's censorship such as this that not only makes me a little testy, but it also sometimes drives me nuts.
Oh well... Glad to see you're having a ball with it.
-Dan
http://journals.aol.com/dpoem/TheWisdomofaDistractedMind/
Ok.. I thought I saw it all, but this beats the band..
http://neuticles.com/index1.html
Now your pets don't even have to look embarrassed when they go out for a stroll!
Yikes!
I've seen them & it just tells me what the driver's character is like...perhaps that is a great way to screen out the idiot guys! Now...would this include the tire flaps semi's have of that geez I think 70s pic of the woman leaning back on her arms & her breast perking out to the east? I think those should be gone as well! Then again we have restaurants named after them? I think I'll start a "Peckers" right next door to the Hooters!
OH hell, we get to balls and now we need to do something about it, RLOL. I mean, how many truck drivers have the side view of a naked woman on the back of their trucks or tires? Like, didnt that count, LoL.....I think Meyers has his work cut out for him. Its like naked nostaligia and he shouldnt play around with the 24/hour, blue collar , living off of caffeine worker from drive to drive. If they need some balls support, I say go for it,lol....~Raven
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