It's Bad, Oh So Bad

Hi folks -- evidently, it's that time of year again: The "winners" of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (2007 edition) have been announced [link via Gene Weingarten's chat].

This year's overall winner is Jim Gleeson, of Madison, WI, who came up with this sparkler:

"Gerald began--but
was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his
hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of
the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently"
meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or
suffocated by choking ash--to pee."

If you're not familiar and couldn't tell, the contest seeks the worst opening sentence for an imaginary novel. It's named after Edward Bulwer-Lytton, who came up with the immortal opening, "It was dark and stormy night" (which isn't actually a bad start, except the full first sentence goes on, and on...)

Be sure to see all the genre winners, runners-up and dishonorable mentions.

Thanks -- Joe

Tags: bulwer-lytton, dark and stormy night